READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
