You work out of a Hotel?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
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Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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