Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
