He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
