You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
