Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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