I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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