her vagine was all disorganized.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
