You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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