i think i have herpe
just one?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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