You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The air was thick with penises
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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