Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize