you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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