Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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