I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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