she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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