if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
