She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize