it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
