Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize