Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
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he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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