I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
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I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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