There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
