i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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