You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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