I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
