Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
