Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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