all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize