I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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