ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
