I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
