dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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