OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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