sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
