Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.