i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick