u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize