there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool