It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
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if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal