i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
