You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
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Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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