no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
