What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
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