it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
