Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
