just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
