I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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