How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
