we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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