My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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