she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
