so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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