Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
