what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I need a beard to bite.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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