They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
