i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
