we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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