i think my tv is drunk
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I would ride that face into the sunset
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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