so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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