why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
