Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
