Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
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i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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