I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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